Humble Rants 28 September 2011

Posted Wednesday, September 28, 2011 in Opinion

Humble Rants 28 September 2011

Humble at the Common Ground Fair; we promised him we would only use this photo once, because obviously his shirt sleeves are too long and his suspenders aren't centered.

by Robert Skoglund aka The humble Farmer

 A friend took a picture of me while I was speaking at the Common  Ground Fair and posted it on my Facebook page. A woman friend wrote beneath the picture: “I did notice that his suspenders were not centered.”

Does this not raise an interesting question? Centered on what?  

When I looked at the picture I also noticed that my suspenders were not centered but that was the second thing I noticed.

The first thing I noticed was that my shirt sleeves were too long. You can see from the picture that I had pulled them up so people could see that I have hands. I have three blue shirts and I wore one for each of the three days and on Saturday my sleeves drove me crazy because when I dropped my hands my shirt sleeves slid down to the tips of my fingers. It is very uncomfortable to stand before an audience and speak while wearing a shirt that has sleeves that are 4 inches too long.

Last night as I was moving toward our bed I mentioned that my Saturday shirt was made for a gorilla and that I could understand why you always saw pictures of the old time card-players wearing rubber garters on their arms to hold up the cuffs on their shirt sleeves. Whereupon, my wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, patiently explained that all of my shirts are the same size.

Is there any sense to argue with a woman? I had worn the shirts and I knew that two shirts fit and that one had long sleeves. I didn’t need to look at any little tag inside the collar.

You can well believe that by Sunday night the Saturday and Friday shirts were already washed, pressed, and back in the closet so, although I was so tired I could barely stand, I staggered over to the closet and dragged out the two clean shirts, and presented Marsha with all three for her inspection. What do you think my wife said after she read the printed proof that, for perhaps the first time in our marriage, I was right? 

She said, “Well, you could have rolled them up.”

The humble Farmer can be heard Saturdays at 5 on WERU Blue Hill, Sundays at 7 on WRFR in Rockland and Tuesdays at 2 on WMPG Portland.

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